16 May 2010

Great weekend with the Glahns!

Laura and I made a trip this weekend to Dallas. We visited Dallas Theological Seminary. I got a tour and spent some time talking to admissions. I think I'll be going Interdisciplinary Studies with Cross-Cultural and Pastoral Ministries. I really am having a hard time not just dropping everything and moving this Summer so I can be there in the fall... we'll just have to follow God's lead though.

Since feeling this call, I have been working hard to finish my Bachelors so I can move on to a ThM. I'm now feeling like there are things lining up to put us in Dallas sooner than I thought. I guess this is just a call for prayers.

We also had an amazing weekend with Sandi and Gary Glahn. Late night discussing life, the universe and everything else. I can't wait till our next time!

11 May 2010


I just reread my blog...

I'm not saying I want space or want to be left alone by my friends, I'm only saying that when I do need space, please understand and don't take it personally.

Men and infertility

So time for a tough subject. Infertility and it's effects on men.

Most men don't consider infertility as something that effects us. "Hey, the doctor says everything is alright with me, so it's her problem," right? As a Christian and the leader of my household, I find that what effects her, effects me. But beyond that, infertility still effects the man more than I can explain.

We just passed another Mother's Day. Why should that effect a guy, other than to buy his Mom and Mother-in-Law gifts? Maybe those who have never battled with infertility don't see why it should, but as my wife and I do battle with infertility, I have a clear view of the emotional impact of this day. It's a rough time when the world is full of mom this and kids that, but most of all it's hard to spend time around all the new families. They are celebrating a day that should be celebrated, but they are also forgetting all of us who wish we could be celebrating our wives as mothers.

Laura and I have been trying to have a kid for about 2 and a half years, the doctors haven't given us a reason, they have just given us "it might be this" or "it might be that". What am I to do? I pray about this issue a couple times a day and every night, but no change. We spend time and money on fertility treatments (since insurance views it as elective and won't pay for it). We even look into out of the ordinary treatments. No luck yet.

I find myself losing hope. I see friends get off the pill and start trying and a few weeks later I hear they are pregnant. I'm happy for them, but it digs me in to a rut. I want to give up and just bail. I don't want to be around these pregnant women and their husbands, I love kids, but seeing them brings sadness to me. I guess what I am trying to tell you is that I love you guys and your kiddos, and I don't want you out of our lives, but we need some time and understanding in tough times.

So I guess this is really just an explanation of why I feel what I feel, though it might not be a very good one.

04 May 2010

Never thought I would do this...

I'm normally not short for words after reading an email, but that's exactly what I was after reading this one. I posted a few months ago about Colt McCoy's statement to reporters after his devastating injury and the loss of the National Championship that it caused the Texas Longhorns. This gives us a little more clarity on these events, showing us that it was not devastating, but spiritually maturing. Colt took the moment placed before him by God and made the decision to follow God, not to rebel. To trust that God knew what he was doing. And Colt grew from it. Have you had this kind of chance to decide? I hope you have! It is a momentous moment in your growth, and I hope for all to experience it and the life changing reality the Jesus promises through things like this. Cold learned about trust and leadership, imagine what you will learn.

Now without any more babble from me, here is the email I'm talking about.

Dear Friends,
I had the opportunity to hear Colt McCoy’s Dad speak this Tuesday
morning to the Dallas Christian Leadership Prayer Breakfast. The
breakfast is an annual breakfast that was started by Tom Landry and
other Dallas leaders over 40 years ago and the speakers are usually
amazing. Colt McCoy and his Dad, Brad, were supposed to deliver a
combined message; however, Colt became sick on Monday and could not join
his Dad on Tuesday morning. In the end, it was a blessing because Brad
McCoy delivered a message on raising Colt and his two other boys that
was truly amazing!

The cliff notes are below. I took copious notes because he prefaced his
speech by stating, “I am going to talk about the four principles with
which we raised our three boys.” They are incredibly applicable to us as
parents (regardless of the sex of our children) and they made a
significant mark on my heart.

Brad McCoy said that he and his wife raised their children according to
the following four principles:

1. “Prepare your child for the path, not the path for your child.” Brad
said this is not just for our kids – it is for us as parents. The road
is rough, narrow and hard to find. We have a book (the Bible), a map
vis-à-vis the Bible and God to help us. We must prepare ourselves and
our kids for moments in life when doors open and close. He cited
Proverbs 22:6: “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is
old he will not turn from it.” He also cited, almost in jest but also in
reality, Proverbs 23:13, “Do not withhold discipline from a child; if
you punish him with the rod, he will not die.” It was a funny contrast,
but a real contrast. He then said, “Dads, fight for your kids, prepare

2 . “Prepare to be our best.” This was one of the four McCoy family
mottos. He cited 1 Corinthians 9:24, “Do you not know that in a race all
the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to
get the prize.” He stated that every day he would take his kids to
school and upon them exited the car, he would say to them, “Do your best
and be a leader!” He said that they listened every time and even as they
got older (4th, 5th and 6th grades) he would repeat these words even if
they said, “Yeah, Yeah, Dad, I know, do your best and be a leader!” He
said that as a coach for 27 years, he would always lead his team onto
the field and leave his team at every practice with the chant, “Expect
to Win, Play to Win.” And he implored us as parents to instill the same
attitude in our homes and in our children. He cited Jim Collins book,
"Good to Great", stating that good is the enemy of Great! We don’t aim
high and miss – as we would like to believe. In fact, most times, we aim
low and hit the mark! As parents, he implored us not to aim low! Aim

3. “Be a Leader” He stated that we are surrounded by such a great cloud
of witnesses – great leaders that we can draw from and that our kids can
draw from. He said we are all at the mercy of time and money and asked a
rhetorical question: How do you spend your time and money. He then said
that how we spend our time and money is a direct reflection on where our
true priorities lie. Convicting! He then said as a leader that he has
always loved the quote by Ghandi (even though he didn’t ascribe to all
of Ghandi’s beliefs): “I will not let anyone walk through my mind with
dirty feet.” He said that as he taught this principle to his three boys
that Colt McCoy turned this phrase into his own words: “Thoughts become
things.” Colt would tell his younger brothers as he mentored them, “ You
can’t talk like that or think like that, because thoughts become things
that play themselves out in your life.”

4. “Prepare for Open and Closed Doors.” As a Dad, he said it was painful
beyond all of his years on this earth to watch his son get hurt in the
first series of play in the National Championship at the Rose Bowl. A
perfect setting. A setting his son had dreamed of ever since he threw
the football with his Dad in the front yard as a kid. As a Dad, he went
over to his son’s hotel room after the Championship loss and the
demoralizing fate for such a NCAA football star. He went to his son’s
room to cheer his son up and was praying to God for the right words. He
entered his son’s hotel room to find his son finishing a devotional. A
devotional that read as follows: “My positive energy must be better than
my negative energy. My certainty must be me stronger than my doubt. The
battle is won before I ever start the fight. I choose faith over fear.
Leave a legacy of excellence, love, dedication and service. Jeremiah
stated, ‘Blessed is the man who’s trust is in the Lord.’ He said as a
Dad, he had to find a corner of Colt’s hotel room to sit down and cry
over the maturity of his son. His son was prepared for open and closed
doors! Wow!!

He then finished his speech by stating that as he consoled his son under
the Rose Bowl stadium, after it was readily apparent that Colt would not
be able to go back onto the field and play for the Longhorns. And as he
was trying to motivate his son, his son motivated the team and his Dad.
His son stepped into a new mantle of leadership. Rather than return to
the field in pedestrian clothes, Colt insisted on returning to the field
to help his team win. He walked back onto the field in his uniform and
helped the second string quarterback read the defense and mentored the
second string quarterback over the course of the 3rd and 4th quarters.
He said that his son had been studying “trust” in a Bible Study all year
long leading up to the National Championship game. He said his son had
told his mom and dad that he didn’t know why he had been studying that
“trust” concept all year, but he fully knew why in the moments leading
up to the National Championship loss. He told his parents that he came
to the conclusion that God had “prepared me for years leading up to that
game, because He wanted me to “trust” Him!” As his son, Colt, was
approached by news reporters after the Longhorns had lost the National
Championship, the reporters asked Colt how he was feeling and Colt
replied: “I always give God the glory. I never question what God does.
God is in control of my life and if nothing else, I am standing on the

Brad McCoy said that his cell phone began lighting up with texts after
the game with friends, ministers and family members wildly acclaiming
the statement that Colt had made to the reporters. He said that he
received letters from non-believers, Jewish ministers, Muslim ministers
and atheists in the days following the game – all pointing to the
AMAZING statement that Colt had made after the game. He said that as he
entered Colt’s hotel room that night, he asked his son, “What did you
say after game?” [He had not been able to hear it in the mayhem of the
stadium.] Brad McCoy, Colt’s Dad, asked two to three times, “Son, what
did you say after the game?” Colt said, “Dad, I don’t know. I really
don’t remember what I said. All I remember is that the reporter asked me
a question and I prayed that God would supply me with the right answer.”

Brad McCoy then ended his speech by telling a story about a young
football player that he was coaching back in his hometown. He said the
young football player approached Brad McCoy after he returned from
Pasadena and said, “Coach, I heard what your son said after the game,
but I have one question: What is the rock?” He said it’s funny son. We
sing about it in church. He then began singing accapella:

“My hope is built on nothing less, Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame, But wholly trust in Jesus’ Name.

On Christ the solid Rock I stand, All other ground is sinking sand; All
other ground is sinking sand. When darkness seems to hide His face, I
rest on His unchanging grace.

In every high and stormy gale, My anchor holds within the veil. On
Christ the solid Rock I stand, All other ground is sinking sand; All
other ground is sinking sand. His oath, His covenant, His blood, Support
me in the whelming flood. When all around my soul gives way, He then is
all my Hope and Stay.

On Christ the solid Rock I stand, All other ground is sinking sand; All
other ground is sinking sand.

When He shall come with trumpet sound, Oh may I then in Him be found.
Dressed in His righteousness alone, Faultless to stand before the
throne. On Christ the solid Rock I stand, All other ground is sinking
sand; All other ground is sinking sand.”

By the end of his singing, the entire room of men and women were singing
in unison with Brad McCoy. It was truly an amazing morning for the Lord
and a truly amazing speech for us to learn from as parents AND