Great weekend with the Glahns!

Laura and I made a trip this weekend to Dallas. We visited Dallas Theological Seminary. I got a tour and spent some time talking to admissions. I think I'll be going Interdisciplinary Studies with Cross-Cultural and Pastoral Ministries. I really am having a hard time not just dropping everything and moving this Summer so I can be there in the fall... we'll just have to follow God's lead though.

Since feeling this call, I have been working hard to finish my Bachelors so I can move on to a ThM. I'm now feeling like there are things lining up to put us in Dallas sooner than I thought. I guess this is just a call for prayers.

We also had an amazing weekend with Sandi and Gary Glahn. Late night discussing life, the universe and everything else. I can't wait till our next time!

OOPS!

I just reread my blog...

I'm not saying I want space or want to be left alone by my friends, I'm only saying that when I do need space, please understand and don't take it personally.

Men and infertility

So time for a tough subject. Infertility and it's effects on men.

Most men don't consider infertility as something that effects us. "Hey, the doctor says everything is alright with me, so it's her problem," right? As a Christian and the leader of my household, I find that what effects her, effects me. But beyond that, infertility still effects the man more than I can explain.

We just passed another Mother's Day. Why should that effect a guy, other than to buy his Mom and Mother-in-Law gifts? Maybe those who have never battled with infertility don't see why it should, but as my wife and I do battle with infertility, I have a clear view of the emotional impact of this day. It's a rough time when the world is full of mom this and kids that, but most of all it's hard to spend time around all the new families. They are celebrating a day that should be celebrated, but they are also forgetting all of us who wish we could be celebrating our wives as mothers.

Laura and I have been trying to have a kid for about 2 and a half years, the doctors haven't given us a reason, they have just given us "it might be this" or "it might be that". What am I to do? I pray about this issue a couple times a day and every night, but no change. We spend time and money on fertility treatments (since insurance views it as elective and won't pay for it). We even look into out of the ordinary treatments. No luck yet.

I find myself losing hope. I see friends get off the pill and start trying and a few weeks later I hear they are pregnant. I'm happy for them, but it digs me in to a rut. I want to give up and just bail. I don't want to be around these pregnant women and their husbands, I love kids, but seeing them brings sadness to me. I guess what I am trying to tell you is that I love you guys and your kiddos, and I don't want you out of our lives, but we need some time and understanding in tough times.

So I guess this is really just an explanation of why I feel what I feel, though it might not be a very good one.

Never thought I would do this...

I'm normally not short for words after reading an email, but that's exactly what I was after reading this one. I posted a few months ago about Colt McCoy's statement to reporters after his devastating injury and the loss of the National Championship that it caused the Texas Longhorns. This gives us a little more clarity on these events, showing us that it was not devastating, but spiritually maturing. Colt took the moment placed before him by God and made the decision to follow God, not to rebel. To trust that God knew what he was doing. And Colt grew from it. Have you had this kind of chance to decide? I hope you have! It is a momentous moment in your growth, and I hope for all to experience it and the life changing reality the Jesus promises through things like this. Cold learned about trust and leadership, imagine what you will learn.

Now without any more babble from me, here is the email I'm talking about.


Dear Friends,
I had the opportunity to hear Colt McCoy’s Dad speak this Tuesday
morning to the Dallas Christian Leadership Prayer Breakfast. The
breakfast is an annual breakfast that was started by Tom Landry and
other Dallas leaders over 40 years ago and the speakers are usually
amazing. Colt McCoy and his Dad, Brad, were supposed to deliver a
combined message; however, Colt became sick on Monday and could not join
his Dad on Tuesday morning. In the end, it was a blessing because Brad
McCoy delivered a message on raising Colt and his two other boys that
was truly amazing!

The cliff notes are below. I took copious notes because he prefaced his
speech by stating, “I am going to talk about the four principles with
which we raised our three boys.” They are incredibly applicable to us as
parents (regardless of the sex of our children) and they made a
significant mark on my heart.

Brad McCoy said that he and his wife raised their children according to
the following four principles:

1. “Prepare your child for the path, not the path for your child.” Brad
said this is not just for our kids – it is for us as parents. The road
is rough, narrow and hard to find. We have a book (the Bible), a map
vis-à-vis the Bible and God to help us. We must prepare ourselves and
our kids for moments in life when doors open and close. He cited
Proverbs 22:6: “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is
old he will not turn from it.” He also cited, almost in jest but also in
reality, Proverbs 23:13, “Do not withhold discipline from a child; if
you punish him with the rod, he will not die.” It was a funny contrast,
but a real contrast. He then said, “Dads, fight for your kids, prepare
them!”

2 . “Prepare to be our best.” This was one of the four McCoy family
mottos. He cited 1 Corinthians 9:24, “Do you not know that in a race all
the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to
get the prize.” He stated that every day he would take his kids to
school and upon them exited the car, he would say to them, “Do your best
and be a leader!” He said that they listened every time and even as they
got older (4th, 5th and 6th grades) he would repeat these words even if
they said, “Yeah, Yeah, Dad, I know, do your best and be a leader!” He
said that as a coach for 27 years, he would always lead his team onto
the field and leave his team at every practice with the chant, “Expect
to Win, Play to Win.” And he implored us as parents to instill the same
attitude in our homes and in our children. He cited Jim Collins book,
"Good to Great", stating that good is the enemy of Great! We don’t aim
high and miss – as we would like to believe. In fact, most times, we aim
low and hit the mark! As parents, he implored us not to aim low! Aim
high!!!

3. “Be a Leader” He stated that we are surrounded by such a great cloud
of witnesses – great leaders that we can draw from and that our kids can
draw from. He said we are all at the mercy of time and money and asked a
rhetorical question: How do you spend your time and money. He then said
that how we spend our time and money is a direct reflection on where our
true priorities lie. Convicting! He then said as a leader that he has
always loved the quote by Ghandi (even though he didn’t ascribe to all
of Ghandi’s beliefs): “I will not let anyone walk through my mind with
dirty feet.” He said that as he taught this principle to his three boys
that Colt McCoy turned this phrase into his own words: “Thoughts become
things.” Colt would tell his younger brothers as he mentored them, “ You
can’t talk like that or think like that, because thoughts become things
that play themselves out in your life.”

4. “Prepare for Open and Closed Doors.” As a Dad, he said it was painful
beyond all of his years on this earth to watch his son get hurt in the
first series of play in the National Championship at the Rose Bowl. A
perfect setting. A setting his son had dreamed of ever since he threw
the football with his Dad in the front yard as a kid. As a Dad, he went
over to his son’s hotel room after the Championship loss and the
demoralizing fate for such a NCAA football star. He went to his son’s
room to cheer his son up and was praying to God for the right words. He
entered his son’s hotel room to find his son finishing a devotional. A
devotional that read as follows: “My positive energy must be better than
my negative energy. My certainty must be me stronger than my doubt. The
battle is won before I ever start the fight. I choose faith over fear.
Leave a legacy of excellence, love, dedication and service. Jeremiah
stated, ‘Blessed is the man who’s trust is in the Lord.’ He said as a
Dad, he had to find a corner of Colt’s hotel room to sit down and cry
over the maturity of his son. His son was prepared for open and closed
doors! Wow!!

He then finished his speech by stating that as he consoled his son under
the Rose Bowl stadium, after it was readily apparent that Colt would not
be able to go back onto the field and play for the Longhorns. And as he
was trying to motivate his son, his son motivated the team and his Dad.
His son stepped into a new mantle of leadership. Rather than return to
the field in pedestrian clothes, Colt insisted on returning to the field
to help his team win. He walked back onto the field in his uniform and
helped the second string quarterback read the defense and mentored the
second string quarterback over the course of the 3rd and 4th quarters.
He said that his son had been studying “trust” in a Bible Study all year
long leading up to the National Championship game. He said his son had
told his mom and dad that he didn’t know why he had been studying that
“trust” concept all year, but he fully knew why in the moments leading
up to the National Championship loss. He told his parents that he came
to the conclusion that God had “prepared me for years leading up to that
game, because He wanted me to “trust” Him!” As his son, Colt, was
approached by news reporters after the Longhorns had lost the National
Championship, the reporters asked Colt how he was feeling and Colt
replied: “I always give God the glory. I never question what God does.
God is in control of my life and if nothing else, I am standing on the
Rock!”

Brad McCoy said that his cell phone began lighting up with texts after
the game with friends, ministers and family members wildly acclaiming
the statement that Colt had made to the reporters. He said that he
received letters from non-believers, Jewish ministers, Muslim ministers
and atheists in the days following the game – all pointing to the
AMAZING statement that Colt had made after the game. He said that as he
entered Colt’s hotel room that night, he asked his son, “What did you
say after game?” [He had not been able to hear it in the mayhem of the
stadium.] Brad McCoy, Colt’s Dad, asked two to three times, “Son, what
did you say after the game?” Colt said, “Dad, I don’t know. I really
don’t remember what I said. All I remember is that the reporter asked me
a question and I prayed that God would supply me with the right answer.”
Wow!!

Brad McCoy then ended his speech by telling a story about a young
football player that he was coaching back in his hometown. He said the
young football player approached Brad McCoy after he returned from
Pasadena and said, “Coach, I heard what your son said after the game,
but I have one question: What is the rock?” He said it’s funny son. We
sing about it in church. He then began singing accapella:

“My hope is built on nothing less, Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame, But wholly trust in Jesus’ Name.

On Christ the solid Rock I stand, All other ground is sinking sand; All
other ground is sinking sand. When darkness seems to hide His face, I
rest on His unchanging grace.

In every high and stormy gale, My anchor holds within the veil. On
Christ the solid Rock I stand, All other ground is sinking sand; All
other ground is sinking sand. His oath, His covenant, His blood, Support
me in the whelming flood. When all around my soul gives way, He then is
all my Hope and Stay.

On Christ the solid Rock I stand, All other ground is sinking sand; All
other ground is sinking sand.

When He shall come with trumpet sound, Oh may I then in Him be found.
Dressed in His righteousness alone, Faultless to stand before the
throne. On Christ the solid Rock I stand, All other ground is sinking
sand; All other ground is sinking sand.”

By the end of his singing, the entire room of men and women were singing
in unison with Brad McCoy. It was truly an amazing morning for the Lord
and a truly amazing speech for us to learn from as parents AND
Grandparents.

The tide is turning...

     I remember when I was young (I'm not saying I'm old by any means, just not as young as I once was.), it was expected that everyone you knew was Christian. Now I know this was not the case, but American society as a whole was Christian, with Christian morals (on the surface) and Christian goals. Now I look around and notice, my family and I are outcasts. We're the "weird" ones. Our beliefs about how we live our lives and what is okay are the beliefs considered to be strange. What happened? How did I go from being a kid raised in a Christian home(I didn't become Christian until November 2002, I didn't understand until then what it was to have a relationship with Jesus.) to being a uptight weirdo? 
     I left the church environment around the time I graduated High School in 1998 and returned to it periodically until 2002 when I jumped back in with both feet. While in Basic Combat Training (Boot Camp) at Ft. Benning, I went every Sunday morning, but I did that because it was a way to avoid waxing the barracks or mowing the lawn with safety scissors and a ruler. When something bad happened in my life I would visit for a few weeks before going back to my wild and reckless lifestyle. In 2002, I was invited to The Bridge, a non-denominational church on Ft Campbell, KY. I started listening to what was being said instead of daydreaming or looking at the girls. I started going to Navigators meetings on Wednesday nights and learning scripture. I even started hanging out with these Christian men, and I saw something was different about them...but what was it?
     I remember these guys weren't going out drinking and doing everything they could to take some girl home every night. These guys were getting together and hanging out. They had genuine relationships with girlfriends and wives that were open and honest. They weren't fighting and unhappy in their marriages and relationships. They were happy to be with one person for the rest of their lives. These guys had something figured out. I started looking for what it was and found that the one thing they all had in common was Jesus. They followed his teachings and loved each other as themselves. I wanted what they had. I asked Jesus into my life 4 months after I started going to The Bridge. I didn't see some amazing change, but I felt somehow better. I deployed to Iraq 4 months later and helped with a Bible Study there. On returning, I got out of the Army and got married, but I started slipping away from my faith. My wife didn't want to go to church, she said she didn't need church to believe. I tried for 2 years and gave up. She started cheating on me and my world collapsed. I was diagnosed with PTSD and returned to my parents in Dallas after she kicked me out (ironic, she cheated and I got kicked out).
     I was at my lowest, got dragged to church every Sunday by my parents, and was shoved into counseling by them as well. What they didn't know is that I was doing every self destructive thing I could think of. I was sleeping around, drinking like a fish and smoking 2 or so packs a day. I'm not proud of how bad I got, but I did. While working at a haunted house run by my old scout troop, I met Laura. Everything changed. I found myself caring what someone else thought about me. Every day I called her and talked for a hour or so, then I asked her out, only to be turned down. A week after meeting her, I got off the phone to go help with the youth group at my parents church. The next day I asked her out again and she said "Yes". I went over and took her out for drinks and walking around Uptown Dallas and the West End. We quickly fell in love and were married. I went to church with her weekly and really started to get back into the groove I had been in back in 2002, when I became a Christian. I met her friends and started finding myself surrounded by these "on fire for God" Christians, and started envying them again. I dove back in and started studying and learning the Word and found myself feeling good about life again. After finalizing my divorce, Laura and I were married.
Now, 3 years later, I find myself pursuing a Christian Studies degree and planning for Seminary. I'm going to start a disaster relief ministry, taking men out with me to learn to be servant leaders while spreading God's Word. The tide is turning... and I'm surfing the wave!

Just a little update!

Wanted to apologize for not posting as much as I used to. I am pursuing a degree in Christian Studies from Grand Canyon University. To do this I am taking a full load online. This constitutes two classes every 8 weeks. It's a lot of work, including forum posting and at least an essay a week for each class. I'm still going to post here as able, but it won't be quite as often as I would like! See you around.

Paul

Where have the shepherds gone? The need for leaders not CEOs in Christian leadership.

When I look back at all of the pastors and leaders I have had in churches around the country and even overseas, I notice something. The Church was started by Jesus, who described himself as a shepherd.  In John 10:11 (NIV) he says” I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.” I can’t say I have felt like any of my pastors/ministers/chaplains were protecting me. I’m not saying that they didn’t give me guidance or help. I am saying I haven’t felt that they were looking out for each individual member of their flock. Looking out for each member is as simple as a call when you notice that someone has not been at your service in weeks, or listening to the unsaid in conversations you have with your congregation.

Church has become a businesslike practice. Many churches look first to the ledger and last at need, instead of first at need and God’s will and then at finances to pay for it. I’m not saying that a church should put itself at risk and take on too much, just make His work most important, not your comfort. I recently listened to a podcast of Dallas Theological Seminary’s Chapel service. I can’t remember who it was preaching, but I remember that he talked about different ministries. He posed a question, “What is your limit in pay?” One of the people he asked this answered, “I won’t work for less than $0.” That is the attitude we have to have to do his work. We have to trust that he will provide if we follow him. We have to be willing to stick our necks out for the flock. If we won’t stick our necks out, do we doubt that God wants us there? Or are we deciding that it would make us uncomfortable or take control out of our hands?

So here’s my challenge for you. If and when you take a role as a leader, be a shepherd, a servant leader. Place your flocks’ well being above your own. Most of all, trust that God is with you, if you follow him, you’ll go where he wants you. Don’t be irresponsible, be gutsy but prudent, not risking your venture but not refusing to help where needed because you are unsure of where the resources (money and people) will come from.

Rough time

I've had a rough time over the last few weeks coming up with ideas. Well, that's not quite right, I have tried to write things, and I have found that I have not been good at getting my point across in a loving a generous method. I guess I have been down with selfishness. I haven't wanted to care for others, or even look at both sides of a point. In the last few days, I've had a rough time with other things, and I find myself digging back into the spiritual side of my faith and not just the intellectual study. I'm working up a thought, "Where have the shepherds gone? The need for leaders not CEOs in Christian leadership." Look for it in the next week or so.

Also look for changes in the appearance of the site, though I love this one, I feel like it may detract a bit. We'll see.

The Book of Eli...Witnessing Tool?

                Sorry it took some time to write this, I wasn’t quite sure how to express my feelings on it. I saw The Book of Eli the Wednesday after it came out. I went to a matinee showing with my wife and there were maybe 10 other people in the audience. I had read a few negative comments about the movie, but I was excited. I have never seen a Denzel Washington film that I did not enjoy, and this one was supposed to have some biblical themes.

                There are going to be a few spoilers, but the movie has been out a few weeks so I’m not worried too much about them.

                Denzel Washington plays Eli, a man traveling across post-apocalyptic America, carrying a King James Bible west. When asked why, he tells that he heard a voice in his head which led him to the bible, buried under rubble, and told him to take it out west. There he would find a place that needed it. So he did.

                So the movie has a biblical twist. But a few things I have heard against it are: too violent, too gritty, too much foul language. All of these are things that are in the Bible, as well. So let me tell you where these people’s complaints come from.

The Language: Almost every character other than Eli has “colorful” language trickled into every sentence. But look at society today, even devout Christians let an F-bomb slip at times. And even more so we cover out intended words with things like “Dang it!” and “Shoot!”, or maybe even “Freak!” or “Fudge!” Just because we didn’t actually use the word, doesn’t mean we didn’t mean the word, and that almost makes me feel like I’m lying to myself.

The Violence: You can’t turn on the news without hearing about murders, beatings, war, or mob riots somewhere in the world. Why would anyone expect anything different in a world that has been destroyed with the Bible being blamed for it? Not only is there no organized government to care for people, where is the moral compass to guide them? This movie is 30 years after the apocalypse, people are just not moving beyond the survival phase. No faith group has stepped in to help like in Haiti. No one has united the people under a banner of God. But here is Eli, walking across America, carrying an old King James Bible, reading it every night before bedding down in the most secure locations he can find.

Too Gritty: Well, ask any sci-fi fan what the world would be like post-apocalypse. They are going to tell you dirty. They are going to tell you that trash will be lying in the streets; buildings will be half collapsed, and depending on the cause, dead bodies will either be walking around or decaying in the street as mutants eat on them and anything else that comes by. Now is this factual? Probably not completely, but partially (all but the zombies/mutants…though mutations would be likely in a nuclear apocalypse).

 The fact is Book of Eli forces us to look at what one man is doing to carry the Word to a place he feels called to. He refuses all who try to take it from him, often violently. He carries it wrapped in leather and opens it to read every night. He quotes scripture with ease and tells stories from it to a companion who joins him.

This movie gives Christians a chance to reach out to unbelievers in a different way. It’s not the “touchy feely” Christian movie. It’s not the “glaze over the bad” Christian movie. It’s not even billed as a Christian movie at all, but I challenge anyone that has read the Bible to watch it and not find biblical analogies throughout it.

Over all, it’s a great movie, and I encourage you to take your unbeliever friends to it and then spend some time talking about it.

Donations to Red Cross in Haiti

Text "Haiti" to 90999 and you will receive a text asking you to verify your donation.Respond to that with yes and you will make a 10 dollar donation. This will appear as a one time charge on your phone bill.

On Wednesday evening that had raised nearly a million dollars through this, last night they were up to 5 million. Lets help them get even more to help the disaster torn country.