Men and infertility

So time for a tough subject. Infertility and it's effects on men.

Most men don't consider infertility as something that effects us. "Hey, the doctor says everything is alright with me, so it's her problem," right? As a Christian and the leader of my household, I find that what effects her, effects me. But beyond that, infertility still effects the man more than I can explain.

We just passed another Mother's Day. Why should that effect a guy, other than to buy his Mom and Mother-in-Law gifts? Maybe those who have never battled with infertility don't see why it should, but as my wife and I do battle with infertility, I have a clear view of the emotional impact of this day. It's a rough time when the world is full of mom this and kids that, but most of all it's hard to spend time around all the new families. They are celebrating a day that should be celebrated, but they are also forgetting all of us who wish we could be celebrating our wives as mothers.

Laura and I have been trying to have a kid for about 2 and a half years, the doctors haven't given us a reason, they have just given us "it might be this" or "it might be that". What am I to do? I pray about this issue a couple times a day and every night, but no change. We spend time and money on fertility treatments (since insurance views it as elective and won't pay for it). We even look into out of the ordinary treatments. No luck yet.

I find myself losing hope. I see friends get off the pill and start trying and a few weeks later I hear they are pregnant. I'm happy for them, but it digs me in to a rut. I want to give up and just bail. I don't want to be around these pregnant women and their husbands, I love kids, but seeing them brings sadness to me. I guess what I am trying to tell you is that I love you guys and your kiddos, and I don't want you out of our lives, but we need some time and understanding in tough times.

So I guess this is really just an explanation of why I feel what I feel, though it might not be a very good one.